Organization XIII bakes cookies
by SaixPuppy7
Summary: I WILL NOT BE CONTINUING THIS STORY I HAVE COMPLETELY LOST INSPIRATION FOR IT BUT I WILL REWRITE IT WHEN I HAVE THE TIME
1. The Superior's Bad Idea

**Organization XIII Bakes Cookies**

It was another boring mourning at The World That Never Was. It was always so lifeless at the castle. Part of the reason was because it was a castle full of nobodies. They had no hearts. No emotion whatsoever. Demyx was the only member that believed that they had hearts. But of course no one ever listened to the Nocturne. Xemnas had called everyone to the Round Room for some big announcement. It was probably something about Kingdom Hearts. It was all Xemnas talked about. Kingdom Hearts this and Kingdom Hearts that. No one else really cared about Kingdom Hearts except him and Saix. Saix only cared about Kingdom Hearts because it gave him power and also the fact that he was lycan. Everyone was at the Round Room waiting for Xemnas to make his big announcement. There were a few members that didn't even want to be there (Cough Larxene cough) there were some members that looked half asleep (cough Vexen cough) and some that were very interested in what the Superior had to say (this one should be very obvious). Once everyone settled down, Xemnas started to speak.

"Glad to see everyone made it" Xemnas said with a booming voice. There were a few groans.

"I have a very important announcement to make" he said. "It's always so lifeless at this castle so I thought I should liven things up" he stated.

"How do you plan to do that Man- I mean Xemnas?" Larxene said chuckling a little.

"Well" Xemnas started ignoring Larxene's attempt at calling him Mansex. If Xemnas had heart you would not believe how much he would hate that name.

"I thought we could all get together as an organization and bake some cookies" Xemnas said.

"Um, Superior?" the Luna Diviner started to speak.

"What is it Saix?" Xemnas asked.

"Why on earth do you want us to bake cookies?" Saix asked.

"Well I thought it would give us all a chance to bond" Xemnas said.

"You want us to bond by baking cookies Xemnas?" Saix asked.

"Superior you must not be feeling ok. Why don't go lie down" Saix said.

"I'm perfectly fine Saix" Xemnas a little confused as to why Saix would say such a thing.

"I agree with moon man" Larxene said. "There must be something wrong with your brain or something" she said.

"As I said before, I'm perfectly-

"Yeah Xemnas I'd have to agree with Saix over there that there is something seriously wrong with you" Xigbar said.

"But there's nothing-

"I'd have to agree with Saix too there must be something wrong with you" Axel said with a small grin on his face.

Xemnas could not believe that everyone including his second in command Saix was turning down his idea.

"Well I think it's a great idea Xemnas!" Demyx said cheerfully.

"Well thank you IX. At least _someone_ appreciates my idea" Xemnas said.

"But Superior, it's not like you come up with such Ludacris ideas" Saix said.

"Yeah, I'd expect an idea like that to come from Demyx not _you_ Superior" Vexen stated.

"Hey!" the Nocturne shouted.

"It does kind of sound like something Demyx would come up with" Marluxia said flipping his magnificent pink hair.

"For once Marly could not act gay by flipping your hair" Larxene said.

"Humph, you're just _jealous_ because my hair is prettier than yours" Marluxia stated.

"So it's normal for men to have _pink_ hair?" Larxene asked sarcastically. At this, Xigbar and Axel started laughing their asses off.

"Will you please stop insulting XI so we can get back to the matter at hand" Xemnas said a little annoyed.

"Mansex you're such a buzz kill" Larxene said. The whole organization (Saix included) started laughing at the mention of Xemnas' anagram name.

"How many times do I have to tell you that's not my name!" Xemnas shouted. Everyone was still laughing at him and Xemnas was really starting to get pissed.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP OR YOU SHALL BE DUSKED!" Xemnas yelled. Everyone got quiet at the _fear _of being dusked. (I know nobodies can't feel, but this is fan fiction so anything can happen)

"Now we need to go to the store and get some ingredients" Xemnas said. "Who would like to go?" he asked.

"PICK ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!" Demyx said excitedly.

"Number IX you can't be trusted to do anything right" Xemnas said.

"YES I CAN! COME ON XEMMY LET ME DO IT!" Demyx whined.

"Oh fine" Xemnas said. "But XI is going with you so you don't screw up like you always do" he said.

"Why do I have to go with him?" Marluxia asked.

"Because if you stay here you are more than likely to get into another fight with Larxene" Xemnas stated.

"Ugh fine. Come on Demyx" Marluxia said with a groan.

Marluxia opened up a dark corridor and him and Demyx stepped through it.

"What will the rest of us do while water boy and flower boy are away?" Larxene asked.

"Well the castle could use some cleaning" Xemnas said. "Why don't you and Vexen, Zexion, and Xaldin start tidying up around the castle" Xemnas said.

"Do you how BIG this castle is?" Vexen said.

"Yes I'm aware of how big the castle is number IV" Xemnas said.

"Do you know how long it will take to clean this place from top to bottom?" the Academic shouted.

"Well I suggest you four get started then" Xemnas said with a grin on his face. With that Larxene, Vexen, Zexion, and Xaldin left to start cleaning the castle.

"Well what about the rest of us?" Saix asked.

"Number XIII I want you to go out and collect more hearts" Xemnas said.

"You've got to be kidding me" Roxas said.

"What's wrong XIII?" Xemnas asked.

"Do I ever get a break from heart collection? No I don't. I'm on heart collection duty 24/7! What do I get from it? Not a goddamn thing!" Roxas complained.

"Whoa easy there little dude" Xigbar said.

"Roxas just calm down" Axel said.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? How can I calm down when Mansex always wants me to go on heart collection! It's all I ever do! I get nothing from it!" Roxas yelled.

"Number XIII just calm down you can just do something else if you'd-

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Roxas shouted at Xemnas. "I'm sick of your bullshit Xemnas and I'm sick of this entire organization! All you care about is Kingdom Hearts! It's Kingdom Hearts this and Kingdom Hearts that! If you care about Kingdom Hearts so much why don't you fucking marry the goddamn thing!" Roxas yelled.

"What has gotten into you XIII?" Xemnas asked.

"Xemnas I think it's best if we just leave XIII alone for the time being" Saix suggested.

"Good point Saix" Xemnas said. "Number VIII take Roxas to his room" Xemnas ordered.

"Sure thing Xemnas" Axel said. Axel portaled a very pissed of Roxas to his room. "Well that was easy" he said.

"I need you to watch him to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Xemnas said.

"Fine with me" Axel said portaling away.

"So what do we do now?" the Freeshooter asked.

"Well you and Number V can go on heartless patrol" Xemnas said.

"Well at least Xiggy gets to do something" Xigbar said. "Come on Lex" he said already leaving. Lexeaus just left without a word.

"What do you want me to do Superior?" Saix asked.

"Well you can help me organize some files in my office" Xemnas said.

"Sounds like fun" Saix said. With that, Saix and Xemnas portaled away.

* * *

><p><strong>Well I've decided to make this story at least two or three chapters.<strong>

**Sorry if this story seems a little bit weird. This is what happens when I think about cookies and organization XIII at the same time.**

**I will post chapter two soon!**

**SP7**


	2. The store that never was

**Organization XIII Bakes Cookies**

_Chapter 2: The Store that never was_

Marluxia and Demyx finally arrived at Super Heart Mart (see what I did there? Lol) Marluxia was just ready to get this over with. He couldn't stand being around Demyx. Even though their elements coincide (water and flowers) that doesn't mean _they_ coincide. "Aww I wanted to go to Toys"R" Hearts" Demyx whined. "We weren't sent to go get toys number IX. Were here to get stuff for Mansex's stupid cookie idea" Marluxia said annoyed. "YAY COOKIES!" Demyx yelled. Marluxia face palmed at this. "Come on IX I don't want be here all day" Marluxia said. "Ok Marly" Demyx said cheerily. Marluxia sighed and started walking to the front doors with Demyx behind him. When they entered the store they were a little surprised at what they saw. They actually saw some neoshadows shopping like a normal human being. They saw few dusks but that was normal they always sent dusks shopping. But seriously neoshadows _shopping_ that's not normal. "Well this is interesting" Marluxia said. "I wasn't aware neoshadows did shopping" A neoshadow went buy with a shopping cart full of Heart Loops (obviously the only cereal that neoshadows eat) and a little black blob following it. Marluxia could tell it was a heartless. "Wow that's a lot of Heart Loops" Demyx said. "Never mind the Heart Loops" Marluxia said. "Now give me the list of things we need to get IX" Demyx looked at Marluxia with the look of confusion on his face. "IX give me the list" Marluxia said getting impatient. "What list?" Demyx asked. "Didn't Xemnas give you a list of things to get?" Marluxia asked. "No he didn't give me a list. Did he give you one?" Demyx asked. "No he didn't" Marluxia said sounding a little pissed off. "Marly are you ok?" Demyx asked. "No I'm not ok IX" Marluxia said angrily. "So Xemnas sent us here without a list of things to get?" Marluxia asked calmly. "Yep" Demyx said. "THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE SENT US HERE WITHOUT A LIST OF THINGS TO GET! I MEAN HOW MUCH OF A DUMBASS CAN HE BE? I'M GOING TO SHOVE A VINE DOWN HIS THROAT AND WATCH HIM CHOKE ON IT!" As Marluxia was ranting on about how he was going to kill Xemnas, a few neoshadows and dusks started staring at him and Demyx. "Uh Marly?" Demyx said a little afraid. "WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU LITTLE PRICK?" Marluxia yelled. Demyx coward a little but quickly found his courage. "Um t-there starting to um s-stare" Demyx said barely able to get it out. "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! LET THOSE BITCHES STARE ALL THEY WANT! THERE NOTHING BUT HEARTLESS BITCHES! ONCE WE GET OUR HEARTS BACK WE WON'T THEIR USELESS (well there not completely useless) ASSES ANYMORE!" Marluxia yelled. "Uh oh "Demyx said. "WHAT IS IT NOW?" Marluxia asked still outraged. Demyx motioned for Marluxia to turn around. When he did he wished he could take back what he said. "Those neoshadows look pissed" Demyx said. "They are pissed" Marluxia said. "Were in trouble aren't we?" Demyx said. "Were not in trouble were screwed" Marluxia said.

_Back at the castle_

"No Larxene don't- Vexen was too late to stop the Savage Nymph from throwing the Cloaked Schemer out the window. "Why on earth did you throw him out the window?" Vexen asked. "Because" Larxene said looking at her nails. Xaldin was just standing there watching to see how this would unfold. "Because _why_?" Vexen asked. "I just wanted to" she said. "_Why does Larxene have to be such a bitch?_ Vexen thought to himself. "_Now I understand why Marluxia broke up with her._ Vexen smirked at this thought. "What are smirking at?" Larxene asked. "Thinking about Marly?" She asked with a smirk. Vexen blushed a little when she said that. "No I'm not thinking about number XI" Vexen said. "Are you sure about that Vexen?" Larxene asked. "It looks to me like your blushing" she added. Vexen's cheeks got even redder after she said that. He could tell he was blushing from the heat of his cheeks. Vexen was really starting to get a little nervous. "Look Larxene, I don't have time to play games with you. Can we please just finish up here so we can go to the next part of the castle?" Vexen asked hoping she wouldn't bring the subject back up. "Hmm, no" she said. "It's fun messing with you" she said smirking. Vexen was starting to lose his cool, literally. "Larxene please, just for once could not act like such a bitch" Vexen said. Then it was silent. Vexen was wondering why. When he finally figured out why, it was too late.

_Back at the store_

Demyx and Marluxia were surrounded by thousands of neoshadows. At least they thought there were a thousand. "Marly what are we gonna do?" Demyx asked in a whispered tone. "Well fighting them is outta the question" Marluxia said. "You're right about that one" Demyx said a little relived. Demyx wasn't one of the best fighters in the organization. Everyone and I mean everyone knew that. "Can't we just go back to the castle and explain to Xemnas why we came back emptied handed?" Demyx asked. "No we can't" Marluxia said. "Why not?" Demyx asked confused. "Because I am not getting on my hands and knees to beg Xemnas not to dusk us" Marluxia said. "I refuse to leave here without the ingredients for those damn cookies" Marluxia said with pride in his voice. "But we still don't know what to get" Demyx said. "Were just gonna have to grab one of everything" Marluxia said. "That's a lot of work for two people" Demyx said. "I know that's why we're gonna get some help" Marluxia said. "But how are gonna get help if everyone else is at the castle?" Demyx asked. "Demyx were you born stupid?" Marluxia asked. "Hmm… I don't think so" Demyx said. "Why are you asking me that?" Demyx asked a little suspicious. "I was asking you because you don't seem to understand what I'm trying to say" Marluxia said. "What do you mean I don't understand?" Demyx asked a little offended. "Don't worry about it. It looks like I'll have to do all the work" Marluxia said with a sigh. "Ok fine with me" Demyx said. Of course Demyx wouldn't mind if someone else was doing the work. Marluxia still doesn't understand why he's in the organization or how he even manages to get out of his missions all the time. "So Marly what are you gonna do?" Demyx asked. "You'll see Demyx, you'll see" Marluxia said.

**I am so sorry it took me this long to get chapter 2 up. I've been kinda busy lately and completely lost inspiration for this story. Anyway I hope you liked this chapter even though it does seem kinda weird. Well just remember to review so you can tell me what you think of the story so far.**

**SP7**


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